The F-Word

I'm so fed up of hearing the F-word all the time. I don't mean the one you think I mean. I mean the other one. Feminism. Shudder. I find myself becoming increasingly irritated by the overuse of it, and the confused definitions floating around. What is it? I don't know. No one seems to know. We have the rabid type who seem to think it's their right as women to do anything they want and the stupid men can get out of the way because everything's all their fault for holding women back for so long anyway. We have the sort who tolerate men, maybe even like men (steady on), but believe that equality means men and women are basically the same. Then there are the really confused sort. Like Miley Cyrus who claims to be a feminist, but can't really grasp the concept that feminism and appearing naked in music videos don't really go together. Which in turn leads to the ones who argue that what she's doing is actually liberating, and she's free to do that if she wants, and no one can stop her anyway, and she's happy in herself, so why should we care? That's just a few categories. And this jumbled mess still gains followers. Whether you're campaigning for a greater awareness of the victims of rape in war zones or twerking at the VMAs, you can apparently claim to be a feminist. The idea seems to morph and change shape according to the wishes of the person using the term. We are all meant to be feminists, and if anyone questions the thinking behind it, they get squashed. Hard.
         Before I go any further, I want to make something clear. I am in no way in favour of misogynistic, woman-hating behaviour and thinking any more than I'm in favour of dismissing men as idiots whose only use is the continuation of the human race. I believe men and women are equal. But they are different. Physically, emotionally different, which will naturally lead to different roles. There is a real need to combat misogynistic attitudes in society, whether they're displayed by a government which does not allow women to show their faces or by a father who marries off his teenage daughter to someone twice her age whom she's never met... or by a rapper whose idea of a good time seems to consist of girls. Lots of girls. This is clearly not how the world is supposed to work. God created man and woman to complement each other, not for one to crush the other into a life devoid of purpose, other than the satisfaction of men. I believe a proper understanding of the roles of men and women within society as laid out in the Bible is key to ending the continuing discrimination that we see today. Titus 2 has quite a bit to say on this, as does Proverbs 31. When we try to do it our way, it kind of messes stuff up. A lot. This leads to confused ideas about identity, love, trust, submission, and godliness. 
       The whole issue seems to be centred around freedom and equality. Yet no one can define what that is, and it appears to be entirely subjective. One idea of freedom contradicts another.  Freedom is having a family and a career simultaneously? Freedom is being allowed join traditionally male clubs? Freedom is being allowed to sell sex? Freedom is... an equal number of women on boards? Oh, hooray. Forgive me for not leaping for joy. Some girls are forced into marriage age 10. Some women can't vote. Some women are forbidden from driving. I struggle to get annoyed because there are 5 men and "only" 3 women sitting round a table discussing company policy. Some people complain about the objectification of women in pop culture, yet some women in the media are actively encouraging the objectification. (The men are doing this, which is bad enough, but the women joining in? Really? I don't feel like it's a great thing when a concert to raise awareness of the plight of many women worldwide involves women who are wearing, well, not an awful lot.) However, the overall theme seems to be a desire for women to be able to do what they want.
          So many women buy into the flawed thinking that we can be the same as men. Or that we have to be viewed as being the same in order to gain equality. It's far easier to try to level the playing field than submit to what the Bible defines as femininity. Feminism is a way of having it all: the perfect job, family, sex with whomever we want, the right to an abortion if we want it... I could go on.  It's far easier than realising that we're not actually entitled to anything we want. We're not even free to do everything feminists say we can do. Actually, we're told we have to do what they say we should. We have to adhere to their view of women, otherwise we're traitors, freaks, and helping to perpetuate a patriarchal society. We're trapped by promises of freedom, without the security it should bring. We are told we can take control of our destiny (heave), and reinvent our lives, and if you just lose half a stone, the world will fall at your feet. (Wrong. It won't. You'll just be thinner. That's all. And able to fit in kids' clothes.) In order to be truly free, it takes something that almost feels like reverse logic. We have to take up our cross daily, and that will hurt because crosses are heavy. We never get away from that cross. Yet if Jesus loved us enough to die on one, surely we can trust him for guidance on how to follow our God-given roles as women. This is freedom. God has given us a plan, and we can be free from worry and guilt, and a need to prove ourselves to the world.
         I want to reclaim the f-word. I don't want it to be "feminism" any more. I want it to be "femininity". I believe God has something better in store for me than me being seen as the same as a man. I'm different. And I'm glad God made me different. Because if everything's the same, it's boring. And boring is not Biblical. At all.

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While writing this, I came to two realisations: firstly, that the whole post is extremely garbled and makes the literature nerd within me cringe. Secondly, I think I might need to follow this up. I was thinking of doing one on the way feminism has affected masculinity. Any feedback/ideas/criticism is more than welcome.